I recently saw an article and several posts about body shaming. I initially started this post to talk about my weight loss and more of my own personal journey, but I also wanted to mention the hub about body shaming. Unfortunately, it goes both ways. There is skinny-shaming and fat-shaming happening on a daily basis. Neither of which are okay. Any shaming shouldn’t be acceptable.

The article I read was about comedian Amy Schumer supposedly thin-shaming mega superstar Taylor Swift. Fans were in a tizzy about it. I don’t care about who was making fun of who or if that what was happening. It was the reality that we live in a society that thinks it is okay to body-shame. Fans on both sides were doing so in comments that they made. I don’t believe that it will ever go away. Recently, I was at my third job, which happens to be a women’s plus-size clothing store, and I had a customer who was talking about the “stick-figures” who shop and work at Victoria’s Secret. While I understand where she was coming from, at that moment, she was body shaming. She was putting down the women who can wear the undergarments and clothing from Victoria’s Secret and for what purpose? I had a nice discussion with her about how I thought there was nothing wrong with any woman’s or person’s body, but there was an issue with how clothes were made. Some stores make you feel like the biggest cow while others have you swimming in the same size. It ‘d be nice if there were truly a universal size in clothes. I did my best to steer the customer away from body shaming because it made me uncomfortable.

I spend most of my shifts talking to women about their bodies. I try to remind them no one’s body is perfect, and they look great wearing the green polka dot shirt with navy blue pants. Confidence: that’s all any of us needs. Whether we are fat or thin, round or square, blue or purple, we should be able to be how we want to be.

I say love the body you’re in. Do whatever the hell you want with it because it is never going to be good enough for anyone else. You will never be tall enough, thin enough, athletic enough, or busty enough for anybody. You are the only person that matters when it comes to your body. Trust me, I’m never good enough. My fat friends think I’m gym obsessed because I have chosen to eat healthy and visit the gym six days a week. On the other side, my thin friends readily agree I could stand to shed a few more pounds or offer me carrot sticks when I want a cheeseburger. (Note: I’m generalizing, but not ALL my friends feel this way so friends of mine don’t be offended). Don’t get me wrong, I am harder on myself than anyone else will ever be.

In May 2014, I started on a journey to lose weight. I did not want to be in my 30s and be morbidly obese. I weighed 274 pounds. I wanted to do more physically and be healthier. My journey has been long, and it isn’t over. I’m pushing myself more physically and seeing results. I didn’t want to do a flash diet or lose my weight quickly only to gain it back just as fast. This truly was about changing me and my lifestyle.

This article is not about fat shaming or telling people how to live their life. Losing weight did not cure my knee problems or magically make my back problems go away. I will say I have less pain most days and don’t have the same issues like a back spasm or constant leg pain. I don’t want any plus-size women to read this and feel bad about themselves. We are all beautiful in our ways, and we make choices about our bodies as we see fit. I mainly hope my story will be an inspiration.

Since I started my journey, I have lost more than 60 pounds and gained muscle and healthy habits (for the most part). That’s as much as the weight of a small child. My ultimate goal is to shed 100 pounds and be in fantastic shape. I still have some pounds to go and lots of toning, which I am doing as I try to lose the weight. I am frequently asked how I lost the bulk of my weight. People usually don’t like my answer because it is a lot of work to do what I did and continue to do. I have lost my weight naturally. I have not done surgery or taken diet pills to get me where I am today. If that is what works for you, great. That’s what you’re supposed to do; do what is best for you. I, on the other hand, spend five to six days a week at the gym. I am there anywhere from one hour to three hours. The amount of time I spend at the gym depends on the kind of day I had, my mood or if I have plans. I love it, and it is what is best for me. Not only do I feel healthier physically, but I also feel better mentally and emotionally.

I came up with a sort of motto or way of living my life. I call it the three Ds. Dedication. Discipline. Diet. It has become my “go-to” response for how I lost weight. I tell people: “Shedding pounds and being healthy requires commitment or dedication. You have to go to the gym or for a walk and stay focused on your goal. You have to change your diet and make better food choices.” These were all things I didn’t have the numerous times I had previously tried to lose weight. I would get rid of 20 pounds, plateau, get frustrated, eat a donut (side note: the word nerd in me died a little not to spell out doughnut) and quickly gain the 20 pounds back. Something happened to me in early 2014 to snap me awake and make me realize I wanted a better version of myself. I was reminded of a quote that I heard once by Tony Robbins, “Change happens when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change.” When I first heard that quote, I cried and then again when I later realized I’d reached that point. It inspired me. I didn’t want to be the way that I was anymore. I was a size 22 and growing. I wasn’t happy nor was I living the life I wanted to live. I wanted to be active and play tennis. While I still don’t play tennis, I discovered other activities that interest me more like rowing, running, cycling and kayaking.

We should all be comfortable in our bodies and if there are things about yourself that you don’t like you can change it. I changed and continue to better myself in all ways that I can.

The fact is, no matter what your size, accept and love the body you have been given.